CHAPTER ONE

TO RETIRE OR NOT TO RETIRE?

It was in the spring of 1993 that I found myself wrestling with the Lord about one of the greatest decisions of my life.  I was thinking about taking early retirement so I could travel with my husband.  I could help him drive, and could spend time with him instead of having to stay home while he traveled.   My husband worked for the Home Mission Board and the Missouri Baptist Convention of the Southern Baptist Convention.  He helped to start new churches in Missouri.  He not only traveled in Missouri but to other states for meetings and was sometimes gone for a week or more at a time.  I could ride in the car for no extra expense and I could stay in most motels with him for $5.00 or less, so why not travel with him before he retired?

There was one thing standing in my way.  I enjoyed my job.  I was a remedial reading teacher and my students were making so much progress I hated to quit.  Teaching, to me, was very rewarding.  It was a call from God, second only to being a minister’s wife. I had seen so many boys and girls learn to read with enjoyment who had hated to read before. I not only was their reading teacher but had been able to love them and help some of them to enjoy life in a more abundant way.  The school where I was working was a very good school.  Everyone got along so well and the principal had the student's interests at heart.  He had a way of making them mind and yet had their respect.  Why would you want to leave a job like that?  There was no use arguing with me, I had made up my mind.  Why quit a job that I enjoyed going to every day?

When you feel God leading, you might as well follow.  It was about the time I was saying, “No way, I’m not retiring this year,” that the handwriting began to appear on the wall. 

The Title I program was being changed in my school system.  I’d have to go back to school for training in the Reading Recovery program.  At first I thought, “That’s okay, I’ll go for it.”  Then I found out I’d have to drive 30 miles one way every Monday night for a two to three hour class for 2 years plus two full weeks in the summer.  Also, I’d have to go out of state for one week of training.  There would be tons of paper work and reading to do, besides the in-school work.  The fact there would not be any pay increase for all the work seemed unfair.  I just did not feel it would be worth all the trouble, especially if I only taught school for a year or two more.

My principal, supervisor, and assistant superintendent all tried to get me to stay for at least one more year.  You see- the next year there was going to be a big pay off for teachers to retire early.  I did not know that at the time, but since they were trying to get me to stay, even offering me different positions in order to get me to stay, I toyed with the idea for awhile. 

Two days before school was out I felt strongly impressed by God to give my retirement notice.  I did!  I did not even tell my husband before I did it.  He was surprised!  He was happy for me though, as long as I was sure that was what I wanted.  I was sure!  I kept wondering why I was so sure that I had done the right thing.  I was soon to find the answer.

I had fallen three times during that last year of school for no apparent reason.  I had broken a finger, a thumb and the last time I had broken two ribs.  What was happening to me?  I had never been clumsy.  I had even played on the faculty volleyball team that year and the kids thought I was pretty good.  Why was I falling for no apparent reason?

CHAPTER TWO

THE DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT

In June I had an appointment with the best neurologist in town (according to my regular doctor).  I could hardly wait!  I had a new grandbaby coming in April and I wanted these legs fixed so that I could take care of it without being afraid of falling.  The neurologist sent me to the hospital for a lot of blood tests and told me to come back within a month.  He was looking for a vitamin B12 deficiency, lead poisoning, trouble with my thyroid or something like that.

I knew something was definitely wrong because funny things continued to happen.  One day, a teacher had a luncheon for some of us and before we left her house it started to rain.  I hadn’t brought an umbrella with me so I thought I’d just run to the car.  In fact, I even told the hostess I would make a mad dash and be in the car before the rain had a chance to catch me.  I pushed the door open and started to run!  The strangest thing happened!!!  My legs took little tiny slow steps instead of long fast ones.  It was the weirdest feeling.  I didn’t say a word to the hostess.  How could you explain that kind of action?

I began to read everything I could find on muscle and nerve problems of the legs.  I did not like some of the things I found, but chose not to get too excited because the doctor was going to get me fixed up soon.

My husband and I had a nice vacation planned.  His cousin, Ted Blaylock, a famous artist, had been wanting us to come see him and his wife, Norma, at their summer home in the mountains of New Mexico.  We would go and spend a few days with them on our way to Glorietta, New Mexico, where my husband was to attend a week of school at the huge Baptist church camp located there.  On the day we were to leave, I was down in the basement getting something from the deep freeze for lunch, when the phone rang.  I hurried to answer it, as we all do, but as I started to run up the stairs, my right leg just refused to move and caused me to fall flat on my face on the stairs, leaving me with a bruised jaw and black eye.

Somehow my three daughters found out about the fall and they all called that afternoon, telling their Daddy to watch me and not let me fall while we were on our trip.  They too were looking forward to my visit with the neurologist.  My caring and thoughtful husband promised to try to keep me on my feet, and we headed for the airplane in Kansas City.

Sometimes it seems that everything that can go wrong with your plans for the day will.  The highway department was working on several miles of highway between Jefferson City and Kansas City, so even though we thought we had given ourselves plenty of time to make our plane, we were held up so long that we were actually running late.  I told Clyde to run on to catch the plane; I’d bring some of our carry on luggage and be along shortly.  He did his part and I tried to do mine.  Again, a strange thing happened. 

When I lifted the luggage and started to hurry down the hallway, my legs would not move.  I tried again to walk but found I could only take those tiny baby steps.  I kept telling myself that I had to hurry because I knew they were holding the plane for me, but the more I tried to hurry, the slower I moved.  People looked at me as if to say, “What’s wrong with you?”  I looked down the hallway and finally saw Clyde running toward me.  “What in the world are you doing?’ he asked, as he picked up the luggage and took my arm to help me move faster toward the plane.

After I boarded the plane, I tried to explain to him what had happened, but how can you explain to someone else when you don’t even know yourself what is going on in your own body.  I finally said to him I didn’t know what happened, but I was beginning to see that when I tried to hurry, my body did the opposite.  I later found out that when I was to lift something heavy, my body would shut down then also.

I don’t mind telling you I shed a few tears on that plane trip because I couldn’t figure out what was happening to me. Clyde and I prayed a lot too.  We agreed that he would stay close to me on this trip and we would have a good time because the neurologist was going to fix me up when we got back home.  No need to spoil the vacation with worry.

We did have a very good time on our vacation.  Ted, the artist, and Norma showed us such a good time.  We stayed in their summer home at the top of a mountain.  Ted showed us how he studied the bear, antelope, and other wild animals so he could do a better job of painting them.  He especially liked to paint eagles and we got to see a mother nesting and others flying around.  We got so close to a big black bear that the sap was still coming out of the tree where he had pulled the bark off looking for bugs or worms to eat.  We were in Ted’s jeep and he warned us not to get out because they hadn’t had much rain and the bears were very hungry.  They might decide to have us for lunch.

At Glorietta, the church camp, Clyde stayed by my side everywhere I went.  We didn’t have the same classes, so he would walk me to my class, arm in arm, and then he would go to his.  Just like college!  Boy did we get teased!  He was afraid to let me go by myself.  He was afraid that I would fall or my legs might refuse to go again, so we took the teasing and had a good time.

The vacation came to a close all too soon, and we headed back home.  Clyde carried all the luggage this time and we made all plane connections without much trouble.  Once home, we could hardly wait

for the doctor's appointment on Tuesday.

CHAPTER THREE

THE DOCTOR'S REPORT

The day finally came.  We were going to get to see what the doctor had found out!  We went into his office not knowing what to expect, but hoping for some answers.

The doctor began by saying that the blood tests had all turned out good.  I didn’t have lead poisoning, my vitamin B12 was good and my thyroid test was normal.  “Great!” I said, "Then what is wrong?”

“Well,” the doctor replied, “I’m not sure yet.  I’d like to take some more tests, if I may?”  Those tests turned out to be an EMG, a MRI and a CAT scan.  Now the MRI and the CAT scan weren’t bad, but if you have never had an EMG, let me tell you they are no fun.  He stuck about 16 long needles in each leg and moved them around while they made a noise and a recording on a machine.  I took a lot of deep breaths and almost squeezed Clyde’s hand off, but managed not to cry out once.  I was happy when it was over though!

When the EMG was over, the doctor said there was something interfering with some nerves in my legs and maybe the MRI and CAT scan would shed some light on what that was.  He could not do those tests in his office though and we learned we would have to wait a week to get them done at another place.

One thing we were beginning to be thankful for about now was that we had good insurance.

While waiting to get my MRI done, I was able to see the computer recording someone else’s brain’s pictures.  I thought about how marvelous this machine was and how God had made it possible for doctors to know so much more about our bodies today than they had in years past.  I said a little prayer of thanksgiving for His letting me live today.

Everyone had cautioned me that the MRI might be a frightening experience.  However, the nurse was real sweet and kept reassuring me that if I felt I had to get out of the tunnel for any reason, I just had to push on the little bulb she had given me and they would bring me right out.  She even put a wet cloth over my eyes before I went in, which I feel helped me a lot.

As I went in the tunnel, I just asked God to help me to lie still and be a good patient.  He did!  They were taking longer than they had hoped so they brought me out once to rest, but I did not have to push the button.  I stood it fine.   Being able to talk to God while in the tunnel sure helped to drown out the jackhammer sounds and His presence took care of any claustrophobia I may have had.

The CAT scan was not difficult at all.  Now we had another wait.  The people who took the tests had to call our doctor with the results, and then he had to call us.  In the meantime we went on with our lives.

Our three married daughters, their husbands and six children came home one weekend with the news that we were going to have a family picture made for our fortieth anniversary.  That was good news for us because we had wanted a good family picture.  As we were hurrying around to get ready, the phone rang.  It was our doctor’s office.  They said that the doctor was going to call within the hour with news about the MRI.  They wanted to know if we would be home.  

We looked at each other with a look of “Now what do we do?”  We quickly covered the phone and discussed the situation.  We agreed that we should not cancel the appointment with the photographer because it was too hard to get everyone home at once and everyone was already dressed for the occasion.  It was decided that we would give them our cellular phone number and take it with us in the studio.  Just as we were getting ready to sit down for our picture, the cellular phone rang.  Clyde answered it and sure enough it was our doctor. 

“Don’t get excited,” were his words in the phone, “I have the results of the MRI and there is nothing really bad to report. They did find a little tumor or cyst on the brain, but it isn’t in the right place to be causing the problem with your wife’s legs.”

“A tumor on the brain,” my poor husband stammered, “that will have to come out, won’t it?”  The doctor assured him that it was small and may have been there a long time and we were not to worry about it, but he had to let us know it was there and that they would watch it.  Right now they were not going to remove it.  In the meantime, we were to go back to the neurologist for further reports.

With that news, we went in to get our family picture made and, believe it or not, we all managed to have a smile on our face.  In fact, that is the best family photo we have ever had made.  God is so good!

CHAPTER FOUR

THE DIAGNOSIS

On Thursday we went back to see the neurologist.  We were anxious to see what he had to say about the brain tumor. 

He sat us down and started his speech with something about the MRI finding a cyst or small tumor on the brain, but that it was nothing to worry about.  It was small and in the wrong place to be giving me the kind of problems I was having.  It was between the pituitary gland and the optic nerve.  For it to be causing my kind of problem it would have been in the back of the head. He also said that this might have been there since birth.  He said the MRI did not find anything that would help him know what was wrong with me.  He went on to say that the CAT scan did not find anything either.  He said, “Frankly, I wish that the tumor would have been the problem because we could have taken that out and you would have been okay.”

I didn’t like the way this conversation was going!  He went on, “We did find from the MRI that you do not have multiple scleroses.  This does seem to be a silent disease though.  You say that you have no pain, yet your legs do not always work.”  He asked me some questions about my speech, which at that time had given me no problems.

He kept stammering around as if there was something he hated to say.  Finally, he said, “I am afraid that I do not have good news for you.  You seem to have a disease for which there is no cure.  I can give you some medicine that will help with the stiffness in your legs for awhile, but I am afraid that they will continue to get worse no matter what we do.”

I said, “What do I have?”

“I can’t be positive at this point, so I’d rather not say right now,” was his reply.  I had been reading a lot about this kind of thing so I asked; “Do you think I have Lou Gehrig’s disease?”

“How did you know?” he asked

“I’ve been reading a lot about my symptoms.” I said.

“Yes, that is what you have.”  He said bluntly.

“Are you sure?”  my frightened husband asked.

“Yes," he replied, “I have several patients with it. With what you have told me, you have had this for about a year.  Patients live from 2 to 5 years, most of them live only 2 years with this disease and you have used up a year of yours already.”

My husband and I were just sitting there in disbelief!  We could hear him talking but it seemed that he was talking to someone else.  He went on to say, “You will lose the use of all your muscles gradually until you get to where you can’t speak and finally your lungs will fail to function, causing death.  One good thing though, your mind will stay alert!”

I thought, “Great, I’ll know all the gruesome things that will be happening to me!”  I finally came to my senses enough to say, “I want a second opinion!”

He said, “Fine.  I have some patients who have had a second opinion which just confirmed my diagnosis.  I also have some patients who just trust me all the way and think it would be foolish to go through more than they have to since they are just going to die anyway.”

It was only by the grace of God that we got through that visit.  I said, “Well I do want another opinion and I want it to be at the Mayo Clinic!”  I don’t know where the words were coming from because I am not a forceful person usually and I hadn’t had time to think about this beforehand.  Still, I heard myself saying, “Will you make me an appointment at Mayo’s Clinic or do I need to do that?”

“Oh I’ll make you an appointment if you are sure that is where you want to go,” he assured me.

My husband spoke up and asked if that is where he would recommend me going.  They then discussed Rochester, New York, and other places, but I kept leaning toward the Mayo Clinic so we finally agreed that he would get me in there as soon as possible.  Needless to say we were absolutely numb as we left his office that day.  It was hard to realize that he was talking about me.

My oldest daughter, Clydene Watson, and her family were waiting at our home to see what the doctor said before they started back to their home in Florida since their vacation was over.  As we drove up the driveway we saw her family all ready to get in their van and go.  She caught one look at our faces and knew that something was wrong.  We told them what the doctor had said and I tried to be brave, but lots of tears were shed and I remember telling her that I did not want her to have to change my diapers and feed me like a baby.  She assured me she would be happy to do that and anything else I might need, but that we were going to pray that this diagnosis was wrong and that God would take care of me.   She is her father’s daughter all right!  She said she hated to leave, but had to do so, and that as soon as she got to her home she would start the prayer chain in her church praying for me. 

Boy, I hated to see her leave, not knowing when we would see her again or what kind of condition I would be in then.  She and Doug, her husband, hugged me and both assured me they would be praying for me and that since she was the only daughter who was not working, she could come back to help when needed.  Of course I knew how hard that would be even though they wanted to do it.  They had four children under 11 years of age and neither of us had money for plane tickets.

Before they left Clydene had us all stand in a circle and her children, my sweet grandchildren, each prayed for me.  I wish every family could have this privilege when they experience a crisis.

Our other two daughters showed just as much concern and consideration.  Cheri, our middle daughter and husband, Jim Jones, lived two and a half hours away, in Bolivar, Missouri where he taught at the Baptist University there and she taught second grade. They offered to come home immediately if we needed them and even though we assured them that we were okay for now we noticed that they did come home a lot that summer.

Cindy, our youngest, and her husband, Russ Swanigan, lived in town and they came right over as soon as they got the word.  They were at our house any time they even thought we needed support that summer.  They shared Gabriella, their three year old daughter with us a lot which helped us take our minds off ourselves.

Each family member offered their love, support, and prayers.  After all, what else could they or anyone else do?

Of course I called my sisters and brothers right away.  They were in shock and disbelief, but each said that they would pray and have their church people pray for a miracle.  Even Dorlene, my youngest sister who wasn’t going to church right then said she would have her friends and co-workers pray.  She knew someone with ALS so she was really shaken.

Next, Clyde called his buddies at work and soon churches all over Missouri had me on their prayer lists.  It didn’t stop there.  My husband and I had been appointed as home missionaries by the Home Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention.  Through their network they soon had people all over the United States praying for me.  It was a very humbling experience when I heard about all that.  I wondered if I was worthy of all this attention.

Clyde and I spent a lot of time in prayer also. Those prayers were real too!  Have no doubt, they weren’t the kind of prayers where you had to think about what you were going to say.  They were prayers of begging our Father for mercy.  Yet I knew that some people had to hear a negative answer from Him.  For some reason some people seem to have to suffer with all kinds of illness in this life in order for the kingdom to be perfected.  I began to prepare myself for how I would try to be brave and be a good witness in suffering.

None of the everyday things seemed important anymore.  What difference does it make what you’ll eat for dinner if you are soon to be in heaven where food won’t matter.  I didn’t need to go shopping for clothes because I’d soon just be wearing gowns anyway.  Why listen to TV or read books, none of that stuff mattered anymore.

The only thing that was important now was God’s Word, The Bible!  I even remember getting a little upset with my husband when he wanted to talk about the best plan for my retirement money.  I thought, “Why do I have to plan when I won’t be here to spend any of it.  I won’t need money where I am going!”

CHAPTER FIVE

OUR TRIP TO THE MAYO CLINIC

It was the last week of August 1994, time to go to the Mayo Clinic.  My husband and I had made all the preparations.  We had called our friend, Patty, who had been to the clinic.  She told us all she could to reassure us that Mayo’s was the place to go in a case like ours.  She also helped us find a place to stay while there for my tests.

We packed our van (that the Lord had helped us to buy before we even knew about my illness) with things to eat and drink and clothes to wear for a week.  We had been told that it would probably take at least a week to complete all the tests they would want to take before they could make a diagnosis.  We would be at the clinic in the daytime but would stay in a motel at night.  We called everyone to let them know we were leaving so that they could be praying.  Our son-in-law, Russ, loaned us his car phone so we could keep in touch all week and we crawled into the van to start on our journey!

We spent time talking about some scriptures for me to repeat when the tests got hard to take.  We came up with two.  They were “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 and “Casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7.

We did a lot of talking, praying, singing, listening to tapes, and just loving one another on that trip.  I told my husband I did not want him to live alone after I was gone.  I asked him not to rush into marriage, but not to stay single too long because it would be too lonesome for him.  He said he did not want me to talk about that, but I wanted him to know how I felt.

We made plans for my funeral.  Since my husband is a minister, we know that it is much easier on the family if the person who has passed away has made tentative plans, so we did that.  He has his already planned as well.

We were listening to a lot of gospel tapes, which ministered to our hearts at this time.  One of them was of a quartet in which my father sang tenor.  My cousin had just given it to us some months ago.  Because of that tape and because I had been thinking of heaven and what I would be doing there, I began to think of my two brothers and my father who were already in heaven.  It was some time later on the trip, while I was praying silently in the car, that suddenly Perry, my brother, and my dad appeared to me.  It looked as if they were in the clouds, but the clouds were in the car with me.  My dad said to me, “Sis, why are you worrying about dying?  If you only knew how peaceful and wonderful it is here, you would want to hurry and get here.”

I was very happy to hear that and I was not scared at all that they were there with me.  I had a very peaceful, secure feeling.  I spent no time in answering my father.  I said, “I know that heaven will be wonderful and I will be glad to be there with you all, but I will hate leaving my husband and kids and grandkids.”

Perry then replied, “You know I worried about that too, but look at Hilda (his wife).  She was lonely for a while but now she is remarried to a wonderful man and she is happy.  The kids and grandkids have accepted my death and have gone on with their lives, so we worry about needless things.  God is in control and He knows what is best, believe me!”

I thought about this for awhile and then said, “Yes, you are right!  I am worried about things that I shouldn’t worry about.  I am ready now.”

Dad said, “Remember, Sis, you won’t be sorry.”  Then they and the cloud that had surrounded us all just kind of floated back up into the sky.  I was sad that they were gone.

I did not tell my husband about this experience.  I just sat quietly and took it all in.  Finally after some time had passed, I asked my husband to play the tape of my dad singing again.  I just let the tears roll and enjoyed hearing my father sing in a way I had never experienced before.  After awhile, I said to Clyde, “It will be all right.  I’m ready for it to be either way.  If they say that the diagnosis is right and it is ALS, it will be okay.  I’m ready now to accept it.”

He quickly replied, “Maybe you are but I am not.  You are my life and I don’t want to lose you.  I am not ready to accept it yet!”

Then I said, “But Honey, we have a big God with a great big plan for all our lives and His plan is the most important.”

He answered with “I know that but I haven’t gotten to the place yet that I can give you up.”  I changed the subject because I knew that we each have to deal with spiritual things in our own way.

Later that day and many miles closer to the Mayo Clinic, I was praying again, mostly for my husband and children, but partly for me to have strength to deal with the coming weeks in a Christ like way.  A wonderful thing happened.  I felt the presence of the cloud of peacefulness again.  In the midst of it I felt the presence of a being but it was not my dad or brother this time.  This Being, God, stretched out His hand to me and said, “It will be okay.”  I said, “I know.”  Then this presence said to me, “No, I mean that the test will be okay. You do not have ALS.  Go take the tests but they will be negative as far as ALS is concerned.”

What a wonderful feeling of peace I had!  Naturally I was elated!  There was no doubt in my mind that this encountering was real.  I knew from that moment on I was not going to have ALS.

After pondering this experience for awhile and not wanting to talk for fear of breaking the spell of this awesome feeling of peace, I ultimately turned to my husband and said, “I have good news!  I will not have ALS when the tests are finished!”

His response to that outburst was, “Honey, now don’t get your hopes up.  The doctor in Jefferson City was positive that is what you have and he does have other patients with it so he should know.  I think it is better that we go with the idea that you do have ALS and then if these doctors at the Mayo Clinic discover you do not have it, that would be good news.”

I said, “Okay, but I know that they are going to say that I don’t have it.  I just got an answer from God to that effect.”

“I’ve been praying too but I haven’t got my assurance yet,” was his reply.

“Keep praying and you will,” I said.  There was silence for quite some time.  In fact, I think I even laid my head back and took a nap.  I hadn’t been able to do that on this trip because I didn’t want to waste time.  Now I was relaxed enough to do just that.

This was on a Saturday.  Since we knew this trip was going to cost us a lot of money, we thought we would find a cheap motel this night.  It was getting late, so we started looking for a place to stay.  We drove for miles and miles but couldn’t find anything.  It was really getting late.  Finally, we came to a small town and since we had been so unsuccessful at finding a place, Clyde asked a policeman if he knew of a motel where we could stay.  He told us of two.  The first one was full and the second one only had one room left.  Clyde said we would take it.  It was pretty expensive but we had to stay somewhere.

When we got to the room we decided we should have slept in the van.  There was no carpet on the floor and we had to wear our shoes everywhere, otherwise we might have ended up with splinters in our feet.  The shower was molded everywhere and it had wooden sides.  It was so tiny that if you stood in it you had no room to wash. There were no mirrors and the wash basin was by the side of the bed.  Of course I was trying to be careful not to get a splinter in my foot before my tests and I didn’t, but I did something worse.  I hit the wash basin stand with my big toe and jammed it so bad I could hardly walk or wear my shoe.  So now I was going to Mayo’s with an extra limp!  Of course we were headed to the right place to have it treated.

We intended to go to church somewhere on the road on Sunday, so we dressed for church before leaving the motel.  We must not know how to find things on this road because we had the same trouble finding a church as we did finding a motel.  In fact, we never did find one.

We got to Rochester early in the afternoon on Sunday.  We were pleased as we could get all settled in for the week before my appointments started on Monday.  We drove around and found that the whole town seemed to be centered on the clinic.  The people were friendly and the scenery was nice.

We started looking for our place to stay.  Patty had told us it was like a big house with rooms for rent for people coming to the clinic.  Clyde had called ahead and the manager had assured us this was true.  He told her that it was hard for me to walk up stairs and she said she would give us rooms on the bottom floor.

We should have run the other way when we got to that house and the person at the desk said she didn’t remember receiving our call.  She said she was new and she must have misplaced our reservation.  We gave her the benefit of doubt and took the rooms that she had available.  They were upstairs but Clyde said he could help me walk up and down.  We got our luggage and went up.  Oh my!  There was a kitchen and a bedroom but what was that smell?  It was the refrigerator.  It had not been cleaned in quite some time. The frost in the freezer was so bad the door would not close.  Everything else was molded and worse.  My dear husband said, “No problem,” he would clean it.  We had the rest of the day. 

I went into the bedroom to sit down.  “What is this on the chair cushion?  It is dried blood!  Yuck!  I am not sitting in that chair!  Look at the carpet, it is filthy!  The kitchen floor is no better.  I wonder about the bed?  Sure enough, it does not look clean to me.  Honey, we can’t stay here!”

“We already paid in advance," my sad husband almost sobbed.

“Then we have to clean this place.” I said.  So we went to the store and bought some soap, bleach, Lysol, and some sheets.  We had some pillows and a blanket in the van.  We cleaned the place as best we could that afternoon.  I even poured pure Lysol on the chair and the carpet.  Believe me it did not hurt either one of them.  They looked and smelled some better when I finished.

We slept pretty well that night in spite of the fact that a drunken man tried to get into our room.  He was staying a Cranshaw the hall.  He was not a Mayo patient.

The next morning we got up to fix our breakfast before going to the hospital and found that we also had roaches living with us.  We decided that we had to find a way to get another place to stay.  We didn’t need this kind of atmosphere for what we were facing.  What could we do?   We began to discuss what our options were.  How could we get out of paying for these rooms if we did find another place to stay?  We could not do anything about it until after our doctor’s appointment though.

 Today is THE DAY!  Mayo Clinic here we come!

CHAPTER SIX

MAYO CLINIC

My heart sank as we left that morning.  Not knowing what was ahead was scary.  I found myself repeating my scriptures even on the way to the clinic.  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” Philippians 4:13 and  “Casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you,” I Peter 5:7.

We got to the clinic and the first thing we found out was that we should have pre-registered the day before.  Who would have thought that the clinic would have even been open on Sunday?  Besides, our appointment did say Monday so how were we to know?  They were very nice to us in spite of our unawareness.  Even though we had to stand in long lines to register and get our insurance and payments all straightened out, the people were extremely helpful.  It was past our appointment time when we got through with the paper work but we were assured it would not matter and we would still get to see the doctor anyway.  They had called and told them what our problem was.

Everyone was pleasant and helpful.  Our doctor was on the seventh floor, west.  There were guides every so often who offered to take us where we were going if we were not sure of the instructions.  Later, we found out why.  This place covered five city blocks and was 21 stories tall.  Some places we had to go went through tunnels to the next block.  I was sure glad that Clyde was with me.  We got lost a few times but I would have been lost the whole day.  Anyway, we got to the place where we were supposed to be and the receptionist took me right in to see the neurologist.  Clyde wanted to come with me but was told that on the first visit they just wanted the patient.  I was scared, but repeated my scriptures. 

Dr. Mac was so comforting and I soon lost my fear.  He examined me and referred to the test results my doctor had sent.  He had me do all sorts of things: walk on my tip toes, hop on one foot, walk a straight line, close my eyes and touch my nose, climb the stairs, etc.  I could do most of them all right.  When he told me to pat my foot real fast though, I couldn’t.  I did not know before then that I could only pat my foot in a very slow motion.  He asked me all kinds of questions such as did I ever feel tingling in my arms or legs?  Had I had any problems with my speech?

Oh yes, he had a good laugh about my bruised, black and blue toe.  He told me he would send me to get it x-rayed while I was there.  He informed me he was going to send me to several different doctors for tests at the clinic and that they would try to get as many of them done in the next two days as they could since we had come from so very far away.  He also said they would do the MRI, the EMG and the blood tests which I had already had done all over because they had to have them done in their own clinic.  He asked if I objected to having the HIV test done as they give that to all patients.  Of course, I did not object.

Just as we were leaving, he said, “I really don’t think that you have ALS but don’t hold me to that until the tests are back.”

I just said silently, “Thank you Lord!”  To the doctor, I said, “No, I won’t hold you to it, but you have given me hope.”

His reply was, “We all need hope, don’t we?”

He then led me back out to where Clyde was and on the way my legs locked up again.  I couldn’t walk without help.  I felt stupid, but I told him I was glad that he got to see how the old legs acted sometimes.  He was so kind, he just said for me to hold on to him and he was going to see to it that I got a cane to help me walk.  I could just tell he was a Christian.  The doctor told Clyde he was sorry about not letting him come in, but for some people they just need to see the patient with no interference.  He said that after all the tests were complete, we could both come in to talk with him.

The receptionist told us to sit and wait while she got all the appointments made with the other doctors for the next few days.  She said they would call my name when she was finished and they would tell us then what to do next.  We had brought things to read so we sat back and got comfortable.  We waited 30 minutes.  We saw other people come and go.  We waited 45 minutes.  We talked it over and said that she must be having trouble getting the appointments made.  We decided to wait one hour and then we would go ask if they had forgotten about us. Five minutes, ten minutes, and then the hour was up. Clyde went back up to the desk and asked how much longer it would be.  They said, “How long have you been waiting?”

“One hour since she came out of the doctor’s office,” he answered.

“Oh my,” they began to sound worried. “You don’t ever wait an hour anywhere at this clinic before you ask about what is taking so long.”  They began to look for our card with the appointments on it but couldn’t find it.  They asked us all kinds of questions such as what doctor did you see?  At what time did you see him?  They finally told us to have a seat while they found out what was going on.

After another ten minutes they called my name.  They apologized over and over and asked us not to get a bad taste in our mouths about the clinic because this should not have happened.  Our card had gotten stuck in the shoot and they had to stick their arm in to retrieve it.  This made us late for some of our appointments, but they had called ahead and we were to go on anyway.  Since it was their fault and we were late, they had a guide take us to our next place.

What else is going to happen?

Well the first thing I had to do was to have an x-ray of my big toe.  It was not broken, thank goodness.  He said I had a football injury.  He sees this injury with a lot of football kickers.  It was a jammed ligament.  He gave me some pills and wrapped it so I wouldn’t hurt it when I walked.  That wasn’t bad.  I did feel funny having this done at the Mayo Clinic though.  I guess they see clumsy people too.

Now we had to walk a block back for a chest x-ray.  We walked in the tunnels underground.  Lots of other people were walking there also.  We saw all kinds of patients.  Some with head injuries, some in wheel chairs, some that could not talk, some with lung or heart problems, and many with cancer.  I knew I was not alone in my suffering.

We were on time for the first time that day. They called my name and I followed the nurse down the hall to a row of dressing rooms, like in a clothing store except we had keys.  We undressed and put on one of those wonderful hospital gowns. We locked our clothes in the stall and came out to stand in line for the x-ray machine.  That’s how many chest x-rays they make in one day I guess. 

I got blood tests next.  Then we went down some floors and walked a lot to get a MRI.  We had the same kind of dressing rooms there.  We got a chance to talk to lots of people.  One man had a brain tumor and his wife told me they had told him it was malignant and covered most of the brain and that they could not operate.  I said a prayer for them.   If I did happen to have ALS, we would be in the same kind of shape.

When it was my turn, I asked for a damp cloth for my eyes again and had no problem at all getting it done.  I prayed silently for God to help me lie still and felt His presence in a great way.  He was still assuring me that I was going to be okay.  Being in a MRI tunnel is a good place to talk to God and to hear His answers.  You aren’t distracted by the cares of the world.

That was all for the day, now to get back to the dirty room situation.  We walked in and had to admit our work had helped it to smell better.  It was late and we were tired, so we ate a sandwich and looked at our schedule for the next day.  Maybe tomorrow we would have more time to look for another place. We decided to buy a can of bug spray and sprayed all around our bed, crawled in and slept pretty well.

We only had one appointment on Tuesday, so we packed our things in case we had time to find another place.  We decided that we would just tell the lady at the desk we were leaving and hope that she didn’t ask any questions.  If she did we would say that we had to find a place on the first floor.

I only had an appointment with the physical therapist department on Tuesday, which did not take long at all.  I saw a doctor first and then a therapist.  She showed us all kinds of equipment and ways to do things that might make life easier for me.   I kept thinking, “She thinks I have ALS.  I sure hope that she is wrong.”  She even suggested getting thigh high hose instead of pantyhose because they are easier to get on.  (I took her suggestion and wear them to this day.)  Anyway, we were finished by ten o’clock on that day.  As soon as the appointment was over, we jumped in the car and began looking for a different place.  It was amazing.  A lot of the motel rooms were not very clean either.  The difference was we looked before we said that we would take them.

Finally we found a suitable place.  It was a Best Western Motel with a shuttle bus that would take us right to the door of the Mayo Clinic.  Clyde would not have to drive and hunt and hunt for a place to park. Wonderful!  We rushed back to the dirty rooms to grab the rest of our things.  Waiting at the door was a beautiful vase of flowers from my sorority back home.  How uplifting!  We learned weeks later that my fellow reading teachers also sent flowers but instead of saying that we weren’t there, the people just kept them.  I hope that they enjoyed them.

We hurried and carried everything out and went to face the lady at the desk.  Clyde simply said, “We’re leaving. We need to check out.”

She said, “Okay that will be two days.”

“Praise the Lord!”  we whispered.  “Things are looking up.”  We remembered the scripture.  “All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes.”

We moved into our clean room, and then toured the town all afternoon.  I could tell that Clyde was thinking that I might not be able to do things like walk around in the park or tour an antique store much longer so he was making sure that I enjoyed them that day.   I was silently thanking God that I could do this also.

When we got back, we were thankful for such things as:  a clean floor, clean chairs, a clean shower, and a clean bed.  We put the flowers on the table and just enjoyed our surroundings that evening.  We spent a lot of time in prayer and Bible study.  Since I was tired I to